Wow. Sorry everyone for not updating forever. I'm alive I swear.
Actually I've been really busy with the clinic, work, school work, my
parents, Jimmys parents, and Jimmy. I'll back up and let you all know
Jimmy and I are engaged and I'm very happy that he's there on my side
when I need to go to someone for support. I love him, alot.
Okay the clinic. I'm due in the beginning of November, that's like,
forever and a half away. I think I'm going to actually keep the baby,
but I haven't really made the decision yet. I'm almost
a month pregnant, which means that I still have about 6 weeks left
until I can't get a safe abortion. I think this baby could be something
that I'd love-- ugh what am I saying, the baby's here, just in my
stomach, its already born. Which means.. technically I already have a
child. Anyways, I went to the clinic to find more out about this whole,
being pregnant deal. I wanted to get an ultrasound to try and
figure out the sex of my baby, and the doctor said that it can be
performed at any stage of pregnancy but it is best done between 18 and
26 weeks. However he said it's least accurate compared to Amniocentisis
that can be performed at as early as 9 weeks and Chorionic Villus
Sampling (CVS), which you can get as early as 8 weeks. So, he said CVS
is usually for women with a high risk of genetic abnormalities though,
plus its a ton of money. ANWAYS enough about the baby.....
Speaking of money, Pretty Pretty called me back early this week and I
got the job. So I went in Tuesday and filled out paperwork for the
taxes and everything, it went by quickly. Then yesterday and today I
worked again, it's fun I guess, I love the clothing and the dresses
there so that's a plus. </strike> Too bad that in a few month's
I'm going to be fat as hell. </strike> Yesterday I just sat
around the house <strike> and drank until I got drunk. I regret
it, I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. </strike> being bored.
Oh yeah. My parents let me back in the house, okay, well my mother for
that matter. Thank god my mother wears the pants in their relationship.
My father said that when I have start to get closer to my pregnancy or
my decision for an abortion, he wants me to move to an apartment with
Jimmy and see if we could handle it. I told him that that was an
un-necessary test to pull on me and he said "fine then" but that he
knows I won't be capable to do it. I'd rather not let my father test my
ability to run an apartment with Jimmy while I'm pregnant, but
whatever, I guess I have no choice. I think they somehow know about the
engagement, with all these stupid tests they are trying on me. I'm going to like lose my mind.
I walk around the halls at school now and I feel like everyone knows,
sure I'm in a jacket and bundled up but I can't help but feel that they
are all staring at my stomach with the thoughts of what a whore
running through their head. Thank god I'm not fat yet or showing that
I'm pregnant. I hate feeling sick to my stomach during the early
classes though, it's embarassing when the teachers give me all the
attention. It's like they know, they have to, teachers creepily know everything.
Okay okay, I'm probably just paranoid. Oh god I can't believe that I'm
not going to be able to do spirit squad, but I know a pregnant
cheerleader on the squad isn't exactly something that people would
enjoy looking at. Plus, if I fell hard enough I could cause a
Agh. There. I've filled you in on everything possible. Sorry that this is long. <3
I love you Jimmy